Goodbye Wave at the Window
Goodbye Wave at the Window is a calm social-emotional activity for toddlers aged 12–24 months (corrected age). A short, same-every-time goodbye routine of a hug, a window wave and a comfort toy that helps your child get through a caregiver leaving with you close by. It takes 2–5 minutes, needs no prep and works indoors.
Updated
Goodbye Wave at the Window
A short, same-every-time goodbye routine of a hug, a window wave and a comfort toy that helps your child get through a caregiver leaving with you close by.
- Ages (corrected)
- 12–24 months
- Time
- 2–5 min
- Prep
- No prep
- Where
- Indoors · Calm
You need
- a window or doorway with a view of the path
- a favorite stuffed animal or small blanket
Steps
- Tell your child what comes next in the same words every time: "Hug, wave, then teddy."
- Let the leaving caregiver give one hug and a clear goodbye, never a sneak-out.
- Go to the window, wave together, then pause so your child can wave or call out.
- If your child cries, name it and stay close: "You're sad. You wanted to go too."
- Offer the comfort toy and move into one familiar next thing, like a snack or a book.
Safety first
- Keep blind and curtain cords tied up out of reach, and never let your child lean on a window screen.
- Choose a comfort toy without ribbons, strings or button eyes.
No level picked yet. The 0–4 scale is a learning log, not a test.
Not yet: show it once, then let them explore
Watch for the first sign: waves or says a goodbye word at the window.
Not yet is information, not a verdict. Do it once yourself while they watch, pause, and offer it again in a few days.
Simplify one step
Next time: skip the window and keep only the hug and the comfort toy, so there are two steps to learn instead of three.
Give the least help that works: wait first, then point or show, and guide hands only briefly.
Repeat the same version and fade your help
As you step back, watch for: reaches for the comfort toy after the door closes.
Pause a few seconds longer before you model, and swap showing it for a point or a gesture.
Offer it once more, then add one change
When it is easy again: let your child carry the comfort toy to the window by themselves.
Change only that one thing and keep everything else the same.
Ready for one step up
Let your child carry the comfort toy to the window by themselves. Or carry it somewhere new: have every caregiver use the same three steps at their own handover so the routine works with each adult.
Starting it on their own or using it in a new place is the strongest sign. Still change one thing at a time.
Stop and rest this one
In 2-3 days, come back with the simpler version: skip the window and keep only the hug and the comfort toy, so there are two steps to learn instead of three.
End with something calming together. One hard moment never means a delay.
Stop on a good note
Keep this version and keep it short next time: 2 minutes is plenty.
They can do it, but it was not fun today. Add difficulty only once it feels easy and enjoyable again.
How to play Goodbye Wave at the Window
5 steps, about 2–5 minutes of focus time, no prep.
-
Tell your child what comes next in the same words every time: "Hug, wave, then teddy."
-
Let the leaving caregiver give one hug and a clear goodbye, never a sneak-out.
-
Go to the window, wave together, then pause so your child can wave or call out.
-
If your child cries, name it and stay close: "You're sad. You wanted to go too."
-
Offer the comfort toy and move into one familiar next thing, like a snack or a book.
What you need for Goodbye Wave at the Window
| What you need | A window or doorway with a view of the path and a favorite stuffed animal or small blanket |
|---|---|
| Prep | No prep |
| Focus time | 2–5 minutes |
| Where | Indoors |
| Energy | Calm: good after active play or before a nap |
| Ages (corrected) | 12–24 months |
| Domains | Social-emotional, Language |
| Fits the day | In the morning |
Easier and harder versions
Change one thing at a time. Drop to the easier version when Goodbye Wave at the Window stalls; move one rung up only once it looks easy on a few different days.
-
Easier
Skip the window and keep only the hug and the comfort toy, so there are two steps to learn instead of three.
-
As written
The 5 steps above, for 2–5 minutes.
-
Harder 1
Let your child carry the comfort toy to the window by themselves.
-
Harder 2
Wait at the window for your child to start the wave before you wave.
-
Hardest
Use the same three steps at a less familiar drop-off, such as a relative's house.
What to watch for
The signs of progress in Goodbye Wave at the Window, mapped to the 0–4 learning scale the family plan uses (a tracking aid, not an assessment).
| Level | What it looks like here |
|---|---|
| 2 · After a model | Does it right after you show it or point. Watch for: waves or says a goodbye word at the window. |
| 3 · Independent | Does it when offered, with no demonstration. Watch for: reaches for the comfort toy after the door closes and settles into the next activity within a few minutes (note roughly how long). |
| 4 · Spontaneous | Starts it unprompted or in a new place. Watch for: starts the routine words or actions before you do. |
Try it somewhere new
Level 4 means the skill travels. Once Goodbye Wave at the Window is easy, change the place, the person or the material:
- Have every caregiver use the same three steps at their own handover so the routine works with each adult.
Words to model
During Goodbye Wave at the Window, say “bye-bye”, “see you later”, “comes back” and “sad” at the moment they happen, one at a time, then pause so your child can answer with a look, a gesture, a sign or a word.
Safety for Goodbye Wave at the Window
- Keep blind and curtain cords tied up out of reach, and never let your child lean on a window screen.
- Choose a comfort toy without ribbons, strings or button eyes.
Why it works
CDC's 3-year checklist includes settling within about ten minutes after a parent leaves; a short, predictable goodbye with a caregiver staying close is common toddler guidance rather than a tested method.
Evidence rating: Consensus: sensible practice in line with pediatric guidance. Cited: CDC milestone checklists by age and AAP HealthyChildren.org: Toddler.
Skills and ages
Goodbye Wave at the Window practises calming with help, showing affection and gestures and signs and fits ages 12 to 24 months. Each month below opens more activities for that age.
Skills practised
Activities by month (12–24 months)
Milestone checklists nearby
Activities like Goodbye Wave at the Window
Photo Wall Hello Kisses is the closest match: it also practises showing affection and gestures and signs. It suits 12–20 months, takes 3–6 minutes (a little longer than Goodbye Wave at the Window) and needs 5 minutes of prep. For an older child, Cozy Cushion Calm Corner runs to 36 months.
Ranked by shared skills, materials and ages
Frequently asked questions
What age is Goodbye Wave at the Window for?
Goodbye Wave at the Window suits 12–24 months, using corrected age for a child born early. For a younger or hesitant child, start with the easier version: skip the window and keep only the hug and the comfort toy, so there are two steps to learn instead of three.
How long does Goodbye Wave at the Window take?
About 2–5 minutes of focused play over 5 steps, with no prep. Stop while it is still fun and repeat it on another day.
How do I make Goodbye Wave at the Window harder?
Change one thing at a time. First: let your child carry the comfort toy to the window by themselves. Then: wait at the window for your child to start the wave before you wave. Hardest: use the same three steps at a less familiar drop-off, such as a relative's house.
How do I keep Goodbye Wave at the Window safe?
Play it only with an adult within arm’s reach. Keep blind and curtain cords tied up out of reach, and never let your child lean on a window screen. Choose a comfort toy without ribbons, strings or button eyes.
Related
More with the same materials
Cited guidance
Monitoring, not medical advice. Talk to your pediatrician about any concern. Our sources and method.